so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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