I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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