I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
