I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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