you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize