We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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