it was like his penis was on wheels.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
