I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I had to cum in my sink.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
