he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
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what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
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I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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