marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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