how can u be prego again
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
