I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
