i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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