is your mom at the bar?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
