dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize