Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
