Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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