So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
