sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
