So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
