Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize