gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
