what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
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I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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