Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
