Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize