i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
