She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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