You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
