Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
