help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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