so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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