if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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