Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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