i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
