there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
