Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize