dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
