I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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