I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
