Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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