I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
