How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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