my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
