Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
