My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
