I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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