well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I got inside last night via doggy door
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.