I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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