I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize