I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
