youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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