so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
