i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I lost the right to judge tonight
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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