do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
