this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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